Maturity and orgasm: what happens to sex after 60 years |

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2017-10-14 18:03

Maturity and orgasm: what happens to sex after 60 years
About sex in Russian families or do not speak at all or speak in the abstract as possible — the parents of a teenager jailed for a dining table and squeeze out that “we should beware”, and the most advanced show what it looks like a condom.

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Hollywood Pornhub and also do not give young people a realistic representation of the physical location and its diversity — as a result, many teenagers are sure that all of the sexual life occurs between the senior classes and up to 35 years, and their 40-year-old parents in the bedroom are exclusively sleep. What can we say about grandparents — they seem hopelessly lost and unable to enjoy innocent activities like knitting and walking grandchildren. The idea that a conventional sort of advertising rustic cream can masturbate or be naked in front of other people seems strange and even blasphemous — after all, old age is sacred, “autumn of life”, “the Golden age” and so on, reports Rus.Media.

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However, sex after 60, 70 and even 90 is not an exceptional phenomenon. According to the University of Manchester, more than half of British men and nearly one third of women older than 70 years are sexually active; a similar study in the USA showed that older Americans do not stop to have sex. In Russia with studies of sexuality, especially people in age, everything is difficult, but these issues are put in the Center of social research, Ranepa: according to Dmitry Rogozin, held a large-scale survey of elderly Russians, 70-74 years of intimate life remains at 16% is less than in Europe and the USA, but still a lot.

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Older people the same as everyone else, need attention, warmth and contact with other people, including the physical: it is possible, seniors need it even more than the rest — because when the career is completed, and the children are grown, it becomes even more important to maintain a close relationship with the partner and to monitor the health, including sexual.

“Age of survival” and a stone penis

Naturally, sex at 70 is not the same as 20 in the first place because with the body occur normal age-related changes. In the 45-55 years women go through menopause within a few years the ovaries no longer produce eggs and occurs hormonal changes the body, which is often accompanied by unpleasant symptoms, such as “hot flashes” (when suddenly it becomes hot and the face begins to “burn”), mood swings, weakness, change in skin texture, body proportions, appearance of visible wrinkles. Many women suffer from decreased libido, vaginal dryness and discomfort during penetration due to decreasing amounts of estrogen in the body, the vaginal walls become thinner and more sensitive, produces less lubrication. Not all women experience the affects of menopause, however, many report depression, anxiety and emotional instability, like during PMS (imagine PMS a few years!).

Experts say that anxiety and depression during menopause is often manifested by those who encountered them in his youth, and attributed the vulnerability of the psyche in this period, not only with hormones and social expectations: women clearly don’t feel confident and calm when they are told that the menopause is the measure of life” and their “withered rose”. The average life expectancy of women in our country exceeds 77 years — it turns out that more than 20 years of his life Ukrainka needs to spend “West”. The period after retirement in official documents is called the “age of survival” — what here sex, when you offer over twenty years of noble fade away and prepare for death.

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But there is good news: despite all the difficulties associated with hormonal changes, some women say that after menopause their sexual life has become better, because for 50 years disappears important stress factor is the fear of unplanned pregnancy, and the ability to orgasm remains. Many unpleasant symptoms of menopause can be alleviated, including through sex: we have talked about the importance of oxytocin, which is produced during orgasm, and how to act on the body sexual arousal and discharge.

Men also pass through age-related changes is not as dramatic as in women, but no less exciting. By analogy with menopause, the processes in the male body called andropause — is not entirely correct term, since men do not lose their ability to reproduce, but experience a gradual decline in testosterone levels. Every fifth person is faced with erectile dysfunction. Previously it was thought that this violation is associated with age-related changes, but now doctors believe that it is due to medical or psychological factors erectile dysfunction is much more common in men with diabetes, cardiovascular and neurological diseases, it’s also associated with lifestyle (for example, habit to alcohol and cigarettes) and psychological condition, just like women, many men in adulthood feel less attractive, and erectile dysfunction cause to doubt his “manhood”, which in the collective consciousness associated with a stone penis.

The level of attraction, the ability of arousal and orgasm in both men and women is influenced not only by disease but also the medications that treat them. It’s not as scary as it seems: the most common problems can be solved by turning to a normal therapist, psychotherapist, sexologist or endocrinologist, who will help you choose hormone replacement therapy. In adulthood there are many benefits that apply to sex: in 50-60 years people start to better understand what they like to listen to your body and take care of it, get rid of stereotypes and unrealistic expectations.

Partners living together for a long time, finally no longer each other to be ashamed of — especially if the adult children are safely moved to their homes, parents, finally there is a personal space and more time with each other. Single people can also be sexually active — they are harder to explore with partners their own age than 20 years, but nobody has abolished the Masturbation and sex toys (especially things like balls and vaginal exercisers help to keep the pelvic muscles toned, so women after menopause, they are very useful). It turns out that objective physiological reason to stop having sex at 45 or 60 not — that a voluntarily refuse from sexual life in Mature age, is first of all, cultural attitudes.

Pop culture and eternal youth

Intimate relationships in adulthood — a topic that popular culture ignores or ridicules: the sexually active older people speak or in the spirit of “a gray beard, a lusty,” as if they behave indecent, or ironic and touching — like that people over 60 are able to love and to experience the satisfaction, there is something unusual and inspiring. “The natural need for physical contact, affection, an expression of sympathy and love behind the talking about decent behaviour, age characteristics, the special spirituality of that age. This is ageism, or a total discrimination against a person on the grounds of age,” — said the sociologist Dmitry Rogozin.


Older people are poorly represented in popular culture, and the romantic and sensual relationship between them show very rarely: although the cinema observed a small shift towards a positive image of old age, on the screen, as before, unlikely to see a bed scene or a close-up with a kiss people older than 60 years. One such exception is noted at the Berlin film festival the film “45 years” in which Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay play spouses who have lived together for almost half a century. The picture is different from the other stories about the family crisis not only because it has realistic sex scene, but also the fact that intimate relationships of older couples shown Comedy out of context. “It was funny and strange to observe while viewing in the auditorium suddenly there was an awkward silence; the public believes that the heroine of Charlotte, Kate, now close the door to the bedroom, and the episode ends. But there it was — we continue to remove and in the bedroom, — told after the premiere of the film directed by Andrew hay. — The fact that getting older, people are no longer testing each other sexual attraction, for me, a 42-year-old man, a very sad circumstance.”

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In most Hollywood movies sex “those to whom for…” appears solely as a joking matter: the cash hits like “Hotel “marigold”. The best exotic marigold hotel” all sex scenes behind the scenes, and in the movies, where sex scenes with elderly people still have to focus the audience on a comic of the difficulty seems to be not on time chrostowska back or the need to escape to the kitchen for a viagra. There is a gender imbalance: scenes involving Mature men and much younger women, and Vice versa — almost never. 70-year-old men often play 50-year-old, and with women the situation is reversed: however, even if the age of the actress is as specified in the scenario, hardly a real women will associate themselves with the superstars like the Charlotte Rampling or Meryl Streep.

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With the USSR we have inherited the belief that youth can have a little fun, and then “it is necessary to raise children” and not to sex after the birth of grandchildren of the same sex should finally disappear by itself. According to surveys of Russian pensioners becomes clear that people refuse physical intimacy in 45-55 years voluntarily, without serious reasons, just because it’s accepted. In the older generation many lonely people, especially women — the difference between life expectancy and that the new relationship “in the sunset of life” (although “the West” might take 20 or 30 years) to start unusual and scary.

“In the age of “45+” to live as brightly as in youth? Today a woman even capable of it!” — cheerfully say niche sites, cleverly ignoring the fact that 45 is not old age. Relationship, love and sex is for young, skinny and healthy, so any expression of sexuality and eroticism in older age is surrounded by an aura of shame. Nevertheless sex Russians over the age of 60 do — and, as the sociologists of the Ranepa, even willing to talk about it. Study leader Dmitry Rogozin said that about the relationship and intimacy is much more likely and safer to tell women: apparently, this is due to the fact that all romantic themes are marked as “feminine”, and men to discuss such “undignified”, so the language to talk about sex they have a certain level of bragging to your boys. It is important to understand that sex is not only glamorous slender woman like buddy Winkle — intimate life in the most normal elderly people, those who never in his life did not go to the Internet, lives in a small town.

Life hacking and security

If you type in the search bar “sex and seniors”, get a bunch of links to porn. In the English search porn happens, but the overall situation is better: on request “sex seniors” appear references to the lifestyle magazine for seniors with tips, safety rules, forums for Dating and personal stories. Western doctors and researchers of sexuality are confident that in the intimate life of older persons there is nothing abnormal, but stress the need for sex-education: not everyone knows that after menopause condoms is also necessary — pregnancy is definitely not coming, but an infection can be easily.

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We once wrote a whole text about what an erect penis for sex is optional — the same idea promoted by the professionals who provide advice to sexually active seniors. Mature age — it’s time to reconsider the attitude to reach, in principle, to expand their sexual practices: changes in the body and some diseases are not always given the opportunity to have sex in the same way as in his youth, but include the imagination and make you try new things. Massage, oral sex, long foreplay, hugging and touching — these and many other sexual practices available for even the elderly couples.

The Internet is full of instructions for those who are planning to resume a sex life after a heart attack or stroke, is recovering after hip fracture, suffering from joint pains and other health troubles. Women after menopause are advised not to skimp on the grease, and not to endure the pain and any complaints to go to the doctor — this option is somehow only uses a small part of the sexually active seniors. The right to sexuality is recognized for inhabitants of nursing homes in progressive institutions for older people are given the opportunity to retire and hand out free condoms, and fledged the pair can live together. This is not a call to debauchery, and respect for the elderly are often treated as helpless children, even if their intellect is all right, and deprive them of the last crumbs of self-reliance.

If the idea of sex at 80 years old still seems pointless, I can recall that in Pushkin’s time, 25-year-old woman was considered a respectable lady, and a 50-year old, but average life expectancy and the idea of old age since then much has changed. If today’s pensioners are the people primarily Soviet and talk about sex are not accustomed, in the West 80 years — those who partied at Woodstock, lived in hippie communes participated in Sconvolta the riots, the demonstrations of may 1968 and the first gay pride parade — or at least watched these events in the news. Those who had been sexually active youth, do not want to stop because of someone’s prejudices, so from the current generation of emancipation and sex education should expect more.

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