Rant and Rave: Weight Loss Tips | News


I want to lose weight, so I sleep until 1 in the afternoon so I won’t eat breakfast or lunch.

This is a rant to all the yuppie pussies that put out the Free Times. Why do you have to have a cover showing somebody making a cappuccino? (Jan. 24) Whatever happened to black coffee?

How patiently and quietly Mike Pence has been waiting for his turn. Mike, it’s coming up soon.

What did zero say to the number 8? Nice belt.

I’d rather see my tax dollars going towards helping those homeless vets that’s living in the woods behind Walmart on Bush River. Just a damn shame.

Nikki Haley says that “if you speak your mind” and people resent it, they will “try and throw arrows … to diminish you.” Uh, Nikki, people don’t really throw arrows. Arrows are only effective if a bow is involved.

Why do certain people keep on perpetuating the myth “people of color”? Last time I checked the Crayola box, white was listed as a color.

I would like to respond to the idiot that said all the old f#!ks should retire. (Rant and Rave, Jan. 17) Listen, moron, don’t blink, ’cause one day you’re going to be an old f#!k. Maybe the reason the old f#!ks are still working is they can work circles around your young lazy ass.

My friend believes in unicorns and Bigfoot.

Many people want a Zaxby’s restaurant in Five Points. Uh, isn’t there a Chick-fil-A across the street?

Zaxby’s and Macados in Five Points. Friggin’ brilliant. Cheesy chain restaurants are always great cultural additions for local bohemian neighborhoods. Wise up, Columbia, and stop killing yer damn self!

Jay Lucas, Jay Lucas, Jay Lucas. Coward, coward, coward. Resign.

Rosewood Drive is not the Autobahn. Slow the eff down. I’ve almost been hit jaywalking a few times.

I see where Zion Williamson chose Duke over Carolina and Clemson. He wants to take his game to the next level, not drop two levels. But Carolina ought to get Duke to pay for those recruitment games. Go ahead, Zion.

All the major taxi companies in the City of Columbia should get together and strike. Let y’all ride your little Ubers and then cry when you can’t get a ride.

It’ll just be a matter of time before Uber puts all the taxis in Columbia out of business. Then they’ll be able to charge you whatever they want to charge you.

For a university/metropolitan setting like Columbia that has a safe and economical mode of transportation through Uber available, why do so many riders choose not to provide any level of gratuity? For those who always remember to tip and always show their gratitude, thank you for your continuous kindnesses…

On Saturday I was at the Harbison Walmart and I saw this dready dude on the phone and he decided he didn’t want his ice cream and set it on top of a big stack of sodas right in the middle of the store to melt. Put your ice cream back, you lazy f#!k. It’s just f#!king wrong, dude. Hope you sh#!t yourself in traffic. That goes out to him, not you guys.

Hey Santa Claus, where’s my thousand dollars?

Everyone’s against this president that’s actually trying to make a change.

It was so convenient when you had the Rant and Rave and Crime Blotter right there together. I’m a security officer and it makes it easier for me to keep up with what’s happening so I can keep my eyes open.

Yes, I was tuned in to C-SPAN this weekend. And Joe Wilson approached the dais and [cuts off]

Last week, The State told us that Columbia is in the league of New Orleans and Honolulu. This week Chef Brian Nelson says his Lexington customers are remarking that they are reminded of Charleston and Asheville (and parts of the Bronx?!) (“The Other Main Street,” cover story, Jan. 24) What kind of mushroom is he serving?

For anybody that watches The Price Is Right you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. We want to see more of Rachel Reynolds on a trampoline.

Yeah. It’s my understanding that the news is supposed to be reported, not editorialized. Yeah, and I’m talking to you, Judi and Dawndy Mercer Plank.

Houston Astro John Singleton was suspended for 100 games for his third failed drug test. If it was my company, they would have fired me a long time ago. Houston’s Astros need to drop him if he can’t understand that drugs are bad.

Q: Who does Donald Trump’s tan? A: Dick Dyer.

I have a pet camel. I love her so much I gave her Botox and an ear reduction.

People lacking a sense of humor should avoid comedy clubs.

Why doesn’t Free Times help people with obvious mental illness like the guy who was cursing the police and writing vulgarities all over his own car? (“‘Vandalism,’ Free Speech and Art Collide in Five Points Arrest,” Jan. 22) Instead of interviewing him maybe you could get him into some therapy somewhere.

If Anastasion actually had privilege, would he still have been busted and roughed up? LMAO. (“‘Vandalism,’ Free Speech and Art Collide in Five Points Arrest,” Jan. 22)

OK, you nimrods who park on Devine Street: Know that this is a very narrow four-lane road. Half the time you’re blocking the goddamn lane of traffic.

I just saw William Starrett on TV. How can he go around dressed up like that, and if I do it I get arrested?

If you have an interview with Andrea Mock of WLTX TV, is it called a Mock Interview?

This message is for the Senate and General Assembly of South Carolina. You were all paraded around like a bunch of prostitutes. They bought your vote to get the Base Load Review Act. We know who you are when it’s time to vote. It’s on record.

I’m a huge supporter of everyday hourly workers (as I am), we deserve a $15 minimum and that should never be debated. But here’s the thing, when I’m paying and getting food what I don’t need to see is guys and women with CAT LADY NAILS and DIRTY, STAINED shirts. Again, appreciate you – do better.

You accidentally left out Il Giorgione in your Annual Manual. Every night they’re open, the place is full of locals who love friendly service, Italian wine, and great food that doesn’t cost a damn fortune. Amateurs.

Thanks, Walmart, for giving us a place that stays open 24 hours. Without you, where would all the sketchy people camp?

Wanna see how the other half live? Wanna experience “life’s rich tapestry”? Run over to Lexington/Red Bank on a rainy Sunday afternoon and go wash a load of clothes at the laundromat. There’s your 1 percent … of proof of alien visitors.

To the albino student at the Gamecock women’s basketball game: Hello from the shy guy that sits near you. Your enthusiasm at each game makes you stand out even more than your beauty.

Minnie Mouse finally got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Why did it take 90 years?

Oh lordy, lordy, look at all the ironic hipsters flocking to the coffee bars and the brewpubs.

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