Dating can be a daunting experience.
Some men are experienced daters and the closest others have got to a ‘date’ is in a halwa.
But don’t fear because we are here to help all of you British Asian men!
DESIblitz presents some ultimate tips for when it comes to dating, from what you should wear to what you should say.
How to Approach Girls
There are two things to remember. If you approach a girl and she does not want to talk to you – please, just save your own time and step away! Persistence is only admirable up to a certain extent.
The second thing is to always be respectful to the girl you’re approaching. Being able to strike up a normal conversation isn’t rocket science. There is no need to make physical contact to introduce yourself, just keep it casual.
Adil, 23, says: “I always take the simple approach to dating! When introducing myself, I might start off with a compliment and then just ask her name.
“Sometimes, I do get girls who are completely uninterested, so I just end the conversation there.”
Now moving onto where to approach a girl. Everyone meets girls in different places, it could be a coffee shop or a nightclub. But it’s all about approaching them in the place you feel most comfortable.
Not only does this avoid an awkward conversation, but allows you to show the best and most confident side of yourself as you enter the dating world.
Choosing the perfect date venue can be a difficult task if you don’t know the girl well. So, in this case, it might be better to play it safe. Preferably somewhere where you can just sit down and talk. Place the focus of the date on getting to know each other.
Param Singh, who appeared on Take Me Out in 2013, says: “My ideal date venue is probably going to be a coffee shop.”
Emphasising the importance of having a “comfy sofa” and just being able to “relax”, he believes that dates should be about having “no stress” and just getting to know each other.
Watch our full interview with Param Singh here:
But everyone is different. We don’t all love dating with coffee breath so, in that case, a favourite restaurant or bar might be your go-to date venue. Some people also enjoy a more active date such as rock climbing or being a tourist for a day, exploring the city.
Whatever you decide on, please inform girls of the dress code!
There’s nothing worse than going to a date in heels, and finding out that you’re going to be walking around for hours. Or the opposite, turning up too casual when you have planned to go to a fancy bar. You don’t have to reveal all details of the date, but just give us a little hint.
What to Wear on a Date
Your attire is highly dependent upon the actual date venue. A fun and active date calls for casual clothing. However, a dinner or drinks date may require a slightly more sophisticated look.
Girls appreciate effort. They want the guy to look as though they have thought about what to wear.
Giving us an insight into the typical thought process of a guy, Akshay Jasani, 22, says:
“When deciding what to wear on a date, I just think about what I look good in and feel comfortable in at the same time. Because even though my appearance is important, I’m not going to have a good date if my skinny jeans are practically cutting off my circulation!”
Finding the balance between comfort and beauty can be a difficult task as us girls already know. So we can only imagine how difficult it can be for some guys! Often, guys clothing isn’t physically uncomfortable, but if you’re not used to wearing smart clothing then it can get a little difficult to go a whole night in them.
You just have to think about what outfit is most suited to your style but is also socially acceptable for the date. A shirt and jeans with some loafers or suede boots is a classic smart casual look. If you want to spruce things up, a blazer is a quick and easy way to do that.
Now if you’re looking for something completely casual, a t-shirt and jeans with some trainers or boots is the easiest option. The addition of a bomber jacket can tie the whole look together. Or if you want to add a sophisticated edge, a suave leather or suede jacket will do the trick.
Topics to Talk About
Now, if this is a first date, it’s all about getting to know each other. So, it’s a great idea to ask about her life and tell her about yours. Here’s a list of topics that you could touch on:
- Family Life
- Favourite Foods, Films, Music etc.
These are only starting points. You can’t plan out every aspect of a conversation. Speaking about one topic can lead to another topic being brought up and from there on, the conversation will flow naturally.
Now, if there are awkward silences, don’t panic! It’s not always the case that you will be talking constantly throughout a date. Sometimes it’s nice to have a 30-second breather to just enjoy each other’s vibe.
However, if you are having too many of these silences, then don’t be afraid to just start speaking about a random subject. It’s not always necessary to ask questions, you aren’t conducting an interview! You could perhaps bring up a funny memory or an interesting fact just to liven things up.
If you still feel as though the conversation isn’t going great. The sad truth just may be that she’s just not that into you, or you just aren’t that into her! And that is completely okay. Not every date is going to lead to a whirlwind romance; this isn’t a Bollywood movie!
It’s a trial and error process that you will learn from.
What Not to Do on Your Date
First things first, don’t be late to your date. There is a major difference between being fashionably late and just ridiculously late.
A genuine reason is always understandable, but being late because you’ve spent hours on your hair just won’t cut it!
Now starting off with basic dating etiquette, don’t be rude! Elaborating on this, there are some simple things that you should avoid. Talking over your date is one of them, it shows a lack of respect as you’re not taking the time to listen.
Not paying full attention to your date is also something you should refrain from doing. So no looking away, fidgeting, going on your phone or anything along those lines.
If your date is talking about something they are passionate about or is trying to make conversation, it’s basic manners that you show interest. Even if she may not be your exact type, why make the date anymore awkward than it may already be?
Burping loudly, picking food out of your teeth, or getting far too drunk are all major no’s! You only get one shot to make a good first impression. So why let nasty habits or a lack of self-control ruin your chances at love?
Now saving the best advice till last, please do not mention marriage on the first date! We understand that is the end goal for many people, but it’s way too soon to be discussing all of that.
Final Dating Tip
Keep an eye out for body language. Although a girl might not be vocal about how she’s feeling on the date, you can usually pick up signals from how she’s acting.
Here are some good signs:
- Smiling frequently
- Laughing throughout
- Engaging in the conversation
- Maybe even a little touchy-feely!
Here are some bad signs:
- Not attempting to make conversation
- Frequently on their mobile
- Acting disinterested or distracted
So, remember to keep an eye out!
Now you’ve reached the end of our tips, we think you’re well on your way to becoming a dating connoisseur.
Just don’t forget, always be yourself when you’re dating, and don’t be disheartened by rejection. There is someone for everyone.
We wish you the best of luck on your journey!