Tfw you’re ready for love. (Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Gibson Guitars.)
Aside from being one of the best baseball players to ever lace up a pair of cleats, Alex Rodriguez is an extremely famous weirdo. There’s his rumored centaur painting, that mirror kiss thing he did once, the time he answered a 1 a.m. hotel visit in a fully pressed suit and tie and the way that his steroid suspension drama played out in a crazier fashion than any other kind in baseball history. And as Gothamist’s Senior Thirst Editor, it pleases me to no end to learn that A-Rod is, like me, a neurotic weirdo who can’t quite keep it together on a first date.
Nestled in the story about J-Lo and A-Rod’s fairy tale romance, is the story of J-Rod’s first date, during which the two perfect physical specimens had dinner at the Hotel Bel-Air. A-Rod, as a neurotic weirdo would be prone to do on a date with a very attractive person, kept nervously babbling about his future plans and his place in the world, a thing I would definitely never do. And then, during what A-Rod termed “the third or fourth inning” (of the date? I guess??) he says he got up from the table continued the conversation remotely:
“I had to get up and go re-adjust my thoughts. I went to the bathroom and got enough courage to send her a text.”
“So I’m sitting there and he’s walking back, and I get a text,” Lopez continues. “It says . . . ” She looks significantly at Rodriguez. “You can tell her!” he says. “ ‘You look sexy AF,’ ” she tells me.
Stars! They’re just like us! Absolutely unable to keep it together in the face of beauty!
The question I had to investigate though, was what would normal people not driven mad by decades of celebrity think of this move? Opinion was very split! One friend told me “I would be super into it if someone did that tbh. Like a few drinks in? It’s on.” Another said that while it depends on the context and some other factors, her first reaction was “It would make me think maybe my date was jerking off in the bathroom (especially on a first date when you don’t know!).”
Other reactions ranged from “It makes me think he’s sitting on the crapper texting me that I’m hot, and it’s gross” to “I walk into a date and assume that the guy wants to fuck me. Of course he does! So J-LO probably assumes that also” to the suggestion that it was less about the bathroom texting itself and more about the “sexy AF part” versus just something like “you like very nice.” Although one person told me “A-Rod is a hero. I do my best flirting on the crapper” and another simply responded, “A-Rod is a legend lmaoooo.”
So, maybe try this next time you’re out with a special someone. Just blame A-Rod and not me if it goes off the rails.